Saturday, August 27, 2011

Surprise!

Jenny Matlock


For today's entry I'm going to tell a little joke, in 103 words, instead of my usual poem.  Warning, it may be a little on the wrong side:-)  The key phrase is "Surprise!I'm pregnant!"  If you want to have some fun, check out Saturday Centus by clicking on the little pic above!




SURPRISE!

A guy approaches 2, beautiful woman at a bar.  He's breathing heavy with a big pot belly and he asks if he can buy them a drink. The ladies never pass on free drinks. They chit chat as they wait for their drinks.  The drinks come and the ladies grab theirs, say thanks, and walk away.  The guy finds them later and they make a bee-line for the bathroom.  He follows them in, huffing and puffing, drops his pants and says "Surprise! I'm Pregnant! It's a baby elephant, it's stuck and painful can you pull on the trunk to help get it out?"

 

 
It's funny, you know you giggled:-) 



Friday, August 26, 2011

What Time Is It??

Time for Morris Day and the mother effing Time!!!


I kept it clean, hee hee hee.  So, last Thursday I went to see Boyz II Men at the Mn Zoo and today I'm going to see Morris Day and the Time at the Mn State Fair!  Remember them??  It's free even, just the admission to the fair is all.  Last year Boyz II Men were there for free so maybe next year Morris & the boys will be at the fair?  Who knows?? All I know is it should be fun and I can have a little sneak peak of some fair food for dinner;-)  We are technically going to the fair for the fair seeking on Sunday so that means I'll just eat less then.  LOL, really I don't eat much when I go to the fair but for some reason I want to this year and I'm not sure why.  I probably won't, trying to watch my weight and all curbs that... dang it!

It'll be interesting to see what crowd gathers for the show, cause the fair is always good for people watching and those of you who remember Morris Day... well let's just say he's a little out there:-)  It'll be cool to see them in person though, I never have.  I have seen Prince but something tells me Morris and the boys will be a little livelier:-)  I'll have to report back and let ya know. 

Just in case my little visit to the fair today causes havoc on my weight loss I weighed in today so I can use today's for my reporting.... which wasn't so great either but a girl's gotta try:-)  After being sick for 3 weeks it's acceptable I guess.  

Wednesday, August 24, 2011

Being Sick is Sick!


Jenny Matlock
 
Today is brought to you by the letter S and today ladies and gentlemen, S is for Sick!
 
Now being sick sucks right?  I mean who likes to be sick?  Maybe those that are sick in the head, you know... not right mentally, but certainly nobody sane.  So I ask you dear readers why is it that the youth of today insist that sick is a good slang word for something that they think is cool? 
 
I was sick for 3 weeks, there was definitely nothing cool about that!  This is the first week I've felt healthy since and I'm still not fully here.  I'm searching for my energy if you happen to see it roaming around in a blog near you, point it in my direction please:-)  I can't really think of any moment within the 3 weeks where I thought that I was having a grand old time.  So I figured maybe I've just heard people use the slang version of sick inappropriately.  Maybe it's reserved more for those demented type things that they think are cool, therefore they'd be sick... fits a little better right?  So one wouldn't say that a picture of a butterfly was sick unless said butterfly was formed from mutilated body parts or something.  Ok, it's gross I know and therefore sick and so in turn would fit what I believe the true slang of sick should be rather than just a regular butterfly which would not be sick.... unless it were sick, how can you tell if one is healthy or not??  
 
Ok, see my mind isn't even fully here cause this blog is a rambling of sorts and maybe could be considered to be sick rambling... in all sense of the word:-)
 
I did look up the word in the urban dictionary and it said "crazy, cool, insane".  Ok, insane I guess I could get with cause if you are insane you are sick in the head and therefore a whole lot of weird stuff is cool to you but just plain cool things aren't really sick.... unless they are sick... you know, unhealthy like.  Man, here I go again.  Yeah, I think I'll end this S blog with that... or no maybe with this:
 
Being sick is sick
and no I don't mean cool.
It warps my brain
so I feel like a ghoul!
Well in that case it does make it cool?
 

Tuesday, August 23, 2011

Self Acceptance

Jenny Matlock

Some say bury me face down
so the world can kiss my butt
others say mummify me
as if they were King Tut

If I were a better person
and by other's words not stung
I'd want to hear what was said
about me If I die young

I'm older now you see
so now I can only die old
but age is just a number
whether I'm warm or cold

Maybe I should know while living
what people really think
then again maybe not
cause their opinion may stink

I'm me, that's all, nothing else
it's a simple matter of fact
sometimes when I want some fun
I may act a little cracked

We all have our moments
it's what makes us unique
and if others must do so
then let them critique

Cause we are who we are
and change if you must
but accept who you are
self acceptance or bust
©MDO

Thursday, August 18, 2011

Retro


Jenny Matlock
 
 
R is for Retro, as is Boys II Men... remember them??  Well should my health hold up and I not have to go to bed after work I'll be heading out to their concert tonight:-)  I didn't even see them in concert back in their hay day so I'm excited to finally get a chance to see them now.  Why do people think hay day's were great days?  I know if I were hitting it big I certainly wouldn't want days of hay, wait... unless by hay they mean money or something cause you know, that kind of hay would definitely be ok:-).
 
Anyways, today's concert is brought to my by the fabulous Minnesota Zoo!  Another place I really haven't spent a whole lot of time at lately so it's too bad I have to spend today at work cause I could go early and check out the zoo while I'm there.  I love it when you can actually see the animals hanging out, doing their thing.  It's a good zoo but a little pricey so I normally go to the Como Zoo where I can get in for free, walk less, and usually see more cause I don't have to look as hard for it.  LOL, all about being lazy I guess.  Oh wait, that should be retro to.... out with being lazy and in with burning calories!!  I forget after being sick for so long that it was the last thing on my mind... any form of exercise that is!
 
Ok, so Boys II Men tonight to bring on the retro!
 


Then it's Mn State Fair time, as of the 25th, which always brings back the retro memories (of which I'd have some of Boys II Men from if I hadn't missed them there, for free, last year!).  Then it's Vegas baby in Sept & I've been there twice so it's always a little retro when I go back cause I can actually get around like it's home away from home:-)  Here's to hoping my health is retro too so I have fun at all!!

Saturday, August 13, 2011

Silver Linings

Jenny Matlock

If there was no sound
would you know I laugh out loud
as I lie here like a mound
thinking silver linings were absorbed by cloud

It's a sign of being crazy
or maybe I'm the only sane one
Lines become hazy
at least I'll stand up and dust of when I'm done.

Friday, August 12, 2011

Autumn

 
Twisting gently down
To the ground where they'll crumble
Autumn is coming

Wednesday, August 10, 2011

Quandry

Jenny Matlock

Quintessential Q
Is it an O in disguise?
No, it's more unique

Monday, August 8, 2011

Life Flows


I did the best that I could do
if I should die, think only this of me.
You don't think so, that's nothing new
but plenty of others would have to agree.

Decisions are no longer mine to make
but with that the guilt is also lifted.
Much bigger things are now at stake
it's like I was unwittingly gifted.

The future is never written in stone
so it'll be interesting to see how it goes.
At least I'm not destined to go through it alone
and I'll make it through life, however it flows.

Saturday, August 6, 2011

Nature of Love

Jenny Matlock

When my mood is in gloom
you are my sunshine
you simply make my heart bloom

It flourishes like a fine wine
and makes my soul soar
like it's drunk on a love brine

I bask in the glow and want more
though it may not show
I do love you to my core

Friday, August 5, 2011

Weight Loss is Great.... Really!

Back in Nov of 2010 I was diagnosed with hypothyroidism.  At the time I was just grateful they figured out what the heck was going on and could give me something to make it more user friendly.  So I started taking the prescription and next thing I know I'm feeling better!  The weird cold I had for almost a year went away, the sore swollen lymph nodes in my neck... gone, the dry skin back to normal, the hives disappeared, the sore throats stopped, the achy joints... well they still showed up but now because I actually strained or overworked them rather than my thyroid's lack of pumping out anything any longer.  Things were great. 

So in June I decide it was time to begin my healthy new way of eating so that I could drop my Siamese twin, we are connected by fat only:-)  Things have been going swimmingly, I've been losing some every week so far and so in that respect I can't complain.  I've even noticed that the bad swelling I was having in my feet and ankles had stopped but.... there always seems to be a but huh!  Yeah and this but has a lot of junk in the trunk!!

To date I've lost 29.6 pounds and obviously my body is thinking somethings up... maybe the Siamese twin is just fighting back??  Anyways it all began Monday with the bad swelling coming back, then Tuesday I noticed the hives and later in the afternoon the beginnings of a sore throat!  Wednesday the hives are worse, the sore throat's worse and I have achy hands.  Thursday, the left knee is so sore I walk like I'm 80 and Friday, it's a little better but then it's the right one's turn and my wrists.  I'm also too tired and agitated to focus on work and have to go home. 

Now I do some reading and find out that hey, weight loss can affect the amount of meds you need.  I email the Doc and yep they agree but mine is out Wednesdays & Fridays... and all next week.  Yeah, I can't handle this for a whole week. It's like I have no treatment at all again.  Geez!  Weight loss is supposed to be good for ya I think to myself.  It is, it's great but um... maybe the Doc coulda mentioned that hey if you decide to lose weight check back in cause your meds may need to be altered... you know, so I didn't have to go through all this again;-)

I was able to get an appointment with another Doc on Monday but not until 2:40, hopefully I make it through the work day.  I normally start breaking down around 1.  They'll have to take my blood, I swear they collect extra for vampires or something!!  I guess it's ok though since that's the only way they can see if I'm needing more meds or not.  Hopefully all goes well and they just give me some more meds and things start to return to normal quickly cause a girl has a Siamese twin battle and she needs to win!  Think if I try to explain that to the Doc, using that terminology, that they may consider having me admitted to the loony bin??  I've always wanted to meet the Looney Tunes gang so it could be fun!

Here's to hoping that I get back to normal, get back on track, and kick that Siamese twin's junk in the trunk butt!!

Thursday, August 4, 2011

Missing

 
Creativity
Why did it abandon me?
Come back to me soon!
©MDO

Wednesday, August 3, 2011

P is for Petulant

Jenny Matlock


So the word for today is petulant.  I love words but what I love most is to play with them.  They are fun and sometimes they play back:-)  So today I will use my word in a sentence to explain its meaning (in my world).

Hey Sally, that petulant me really had all the girls flocking to me at the park so can I borrow it again?  Chics love puppies!

See, it's a nice word in my world.  Well, sorta nice since the speaker there in that sentence was using a puppy to pick up chics.  In reality however the word is not so nice and is sorta angry even.  In one definition it explains it as being a person that gets angry and annoyed when they don't get what they want.  I have a feeling that the so called chics that meet up with the puppy walker there may end up being a little petulant.  I shouldn't judge though, he could be a very nice guy.... this made up man, from the sentence above that doesn't even have a name.
  
Moral of the blog, don't lend your puppies out to men so they can get the chics to gather.  Just tell him to sprinkle bread crumbs:-) 

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