Wednesday, May 4, 2011

C is for Counterfeit

Jenny Matlock

 
 
C is for Counterfeit.  Yeah, today ladies and gentlemen I'm going to tell you about this phenomenon that I call the counterfeit.  When you stand at your kitchen counter... OK wait, let me correct that and say when I stand at my kitchen counter cause I really shouldn't assume (you know what they say
about assuming:-)  Already I'm off on a tangent... let me get back on track...
 
I'm standing at my kitchen counter and in front of me I have all sorts of goodies that I really shouldn't be eating.  All the fattening, fun stuff that people like to eat and enjoy.  It's staring at me and it's just begging to be consumed.  Now in my head I hear... wait, let me correct that also... in my chest I hear an echo coming from what I believe is my belly.  In this Scottish voice, reminiscent of the Fat Bastard character on the Austin Powers movie, I hear "Get in my belly!!"  Now as I'm about to open packages or dish things up the voices in my head begin.  Somewhere in there is my voice but it's surround by many others.  Just how many I'm not quite sure anymore.  A girl loses track over the years ya know??
 
So I have my belly talking, my voice within and the others who are now either arguing with me about why I shouldn't eat all the yummy goodness or they are giving me all the reasons I should.  The me voice decides to throw a fit and yell and scream and puts on a spectacular show.  I say what I need to say to make the voices happy, agreeing loudly with those against eating it and winking to those for it to let them know I'm faking it. 
 
It's all a show cause of course I'm gonna eat it.  I mean I bought it, how else did it get in my house?  I'm not going to throw it away, that would be a waste of money and there are children starving all over the world.  Ask my mom, she'll tell ya!  I could donate it to charity I guess but um... yeah... it's just too yummy.  If I wasn't gonna eat it and the voices inside that were against it didn't want me too, we would have had the argument in the grocery store isle as I thought about putting it in my cart right?? 
 
Whew, long explanation I know.  Did I lose you??  Ok so to summarize the counterfeit is the fake fight and fit that I have with myself at the counter before I binge or just eat things that I really shouldn't;-)
 
Do you experience this phenomenon at all?  Maybe we should start a 12 step program... I'll bring the cupcakes... er, um I meant rice cakes:-)
 

18 Unleashed voices:

lissa said...

I think food in general is distracting. after all, isn't that why they make them look so good?

ourlifeinaclick.blogspot.com said...

haha.."get in my belly". Too funny!!!

Rinkly Rimes said...

A Fake Fight! Yes, I think we all do it.

Esther Joy said...

When I first saw your title, I thought you were going to write about all the fake foods, like Splenda, etc., etc. I recently read an article that said just eat what you are craving so you won't eat so much of everything else trying to satisfy your taste buds...

ThunderThighs said...

I LOVE it! So true too! I do the same thing, although I do tend to pace back and forth before I binge. It's like how a dog circles and circles before finally laying down. Oh jeez, I just compared myself to a dog. Now that's something I need a 12 step program for. Speaking of 12 step programs and the fact that you offered to bring the cupcakes, I really hate to admit this, but last year I went to my first Overeaters Anonymous and I DID think to myself, I wonder if there'll be snacks. Wow, really? Anyways, it'll get easier to withold in time.

Vicki aka Jake said...

HAHAHA, this is a hoot! Makes me think of the little sign on the sidebar of my Just Call Me Jake blog:) Binging? At least once a day! When them voices say to....

Lisa Mancini said...

HA!!! Yeppers. I've had that discussion many times.

Personalized Sketches and Sentiments said...

haha...did you get those rice cakes? (Cupcakes are one of my favorites...but...um rice cakes are better, I guess....well,hm..cupcakes just taste soooo much better...um... Oh goodness! just havin' a bit of a "food fight" between the two!

Blessings & Aloha!
(oh...just to help you out...I'd be happy to get those cupcakes off your hands :o)
Thanks for stopping by!

Judie said...

Did someone say "rice cakes"? They are like eating cardboard! I had rather stick needles in my eyes than live on a diet of rice cakes!!!

Teresa said...

Right now I'm bonafide stress eating! No fake conversation to pretend otherwise.

That Spacey Chick said...

yes, yes... I have that fight all the time...

Ⓙ @ $ € € ₦$ ₣®0₥... said...

Clever take on the letter C!

Jo said...

Fun post"C",I'm still smilin'.Love your writings,I'm newest happy follower,thank you for visiting LazyonLoblolly and your comment on my chair/cabinet/lamp re-do was so appreciated,hope you'll come follow back.
~Jo
LazyonLoblolly

JDaniel4's Mom said...

I buy things we shouldn't eat and guess with it! We eat it. Sometimes cloaked in the dark of night.

LceeL said...

I have a tee shirt that says:"The voices may not be real,
But they do make a lot of sense."

Jenny said...

Oh girl! You just totally cracked me up here...and believe me...I can relate...and relate...and relate.

Food has always been comfort for me...the more stressed I am the more I nibble...the more I nibble the more stressed I become.

My dream is to somehow get into an accident that doesn't actually hurt but requires my jaw to be wired shut for six months.

Sigh.

Thanks for a really clever link this week.

A+

EG Wow said...

Oh dear! I can so relate to fighting at the counter!

Vincent Waller said...

Yup, hagendaz in my freezer will not last a single night. It's sweet siren call is too too much to endure.

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