I have a voice that goes by the name of Angel within and it (not sure if they are a he or a she cause, well, they're sort of angelic) wanted to follow up with me on my grieving. Now I grieve for much more than just those I've lost because I can, it's my prerogative:-) Angel agrees, that's why we get along so well... well that and because it is in my head so it's best that we do otherwise it would just be a headache!
Grief is definitely a personal journey and I don't think anyone should ever feel guilty for how their grief manifests itself. Only you really know how you feel about the person or thing you are grieving about and in some cases, even you aren't fully sure about how you feel. It's the grieving process that helps you work through all of that if you allow it to. If you allow others to direct it for you then you will never really work through it in a way that helps your inner soul grieve to it's full extent. I fully believe that and have Angel backing me up, of course.
I have experienced death and while I really don't grieve like the average person I have found that I do it in the way that I need to do it to make me feel ok with it in the end. Through my process I learn a lot about myself and about others, through how they interact with me. There are times when others provide some help and comfort and there are times where they may make you feel like you are abnormal or have no heart. You know what though? Angel has helped me through those time, the abnormal have no heart times. Sometimes a person just needs to be left alone you know?? There is nothing wrong with that and that is what I have come to learn. Not everyone needs a village, sometimes solitary confinement with a white jacket that is all snug and tight works too. What??? Wait a minute, Krazy Kathy piped in there. It's not her turn to talk so let's just ignore that craziness for now and move one:-)
Grief will always be in your life. It can be a death of a person, a loss of an item and just for Krazy Kathy's sake even the loss of your sanity. At some point you just embrace it and make it something positive because you can learn from grief if you only allow yourself to. People always ask how long it takes or how you know, well that's different for everyone but I think that if you get to that point then that's when you know you've worked through it:-) It's easier said than done in a lot of cases and it's taking into consideration that you are in the right frame of mind to be making decisions on your own of course. Not everyone has the inner voice assistance that I do and I forget that so sometimes there is a cloud that others from the outside may help to lift so that you can make more positive decisions. All in all, it's you that needs to make the choices to get you through the process fully and I feel that while I still work on certain causes for grief everyday I'm doing well with my process. Angel gives me it's angelic stamp of approval:-)