Thursday, March 25, 2010

Toxic Pools


A sink with a slow leak
may never reach its peak
but the consequences will sneak
leading to outcomes that are bleak.

With the right plug the water will rise,
it may leave a stain right where it lies.
When it’s too late they’ll notice the cries
and they’ll fix that leak if they are wise.

The problem is not everyone knows
or wants to stop it so it just grows.
Eventually it overflows,
it’s the procrastination I suppose.

The key is having all the right tools
to fix any of those leaks and drools.
People who wait too long are the fools
that are left to dredge through toxic pools.

Sunday, March 14, 2010

Wolf in Sheep's Clothing Take Heed


Way up above in this mountain so high
it’s a nice fruity Chianti for my owl friend and I
as we await the latest fall fashion line to go by.
When what is it that our wondrous eyes do spy,
a little boy who was smiling but now just may cry.
We mean him no harm for we’re no longer spry
and we have much better taste than chubby boy pie.
The taste buds did water, I really can’t lie
but there’s a soft spot in our hearts for the poor little guy
so we’ll put him at ease, or at least we’ll try.

Billy the goat, he watched from behind
and no one really knew what he had in mind.
For you see the goat aren’t always the friendly kind
which can put everyone in an uncomfortable bind.
However on this day he had previously dined
so neither the boy nor the sheep were any prized find.
He was rather intrigued by the way that they veined
up the mountain side as they traveled their daily grind.
Then he remembered of the days, for which he pined,
back when he was young and the trails he would wind.

As the boy moved closer we thought up a rhyme,
what better way to spend our fine time.
We’d recite it with glee and there’d be no crime
and he should be honored; it wouldn’t cost him a dime.
The closer he’d get the slower he’d climb,
there was just no doubt that he felt we were slime
or the scum of the Earth lower than grime.
But we were anxious to share our words, so sublime
for they were quite grand, we were in our prime.
We agreed that I’d speak, goat and owl… they’d mime.

Do you like good, fishy lox?
Do you like them in a box?
Would you eat them from a fox?
Would you eat them wearing socks?
Could you do it on beach docks?
If the fox had chicken pox?
Could you while kneeling on some rocks?
Or if the fox just talks and talks?
Are you skilled, can you do it on walks?
Or is all this nonsense cause you like jocks?

I still see you standing there my child,
I thought the questions were rather mild
but you're stuck in pose and your eyes are wild.
I promise you that my claws have been filed.
I must admit that by you I’m beguiled
as you cower there while your thoughts are compiled.
I could have sworn that it was you that smiled
as I stood on this path with my outfit so styled
but now I’m feeling just impatiently riled
cause behind wafts a stench from what you’ve piled.

It was only the sheep I was trying to lure up here.
Yes the ones that you hide there at your rear.
They make better clothing than the deer
as you see by my current fabulous gear.
So bring them up closer to me as I leer
I don’t see well from a far, so come near.
I promise I’ll let you leave, you need not fear
a deal is a deal and we’ll make it perfectly clear.
Just as long as you come visit each year
and bring with you all the wooly sheep you steer.

The boy was still shaky but to that he agreed
and then he continued on with some feisty speed.
You’d almost believe he were on a great steed
with the way in which he gallantly fleed.
He did manage quite nicely to keep his lead
for guiding the sheep was his only deed.
And me, I ended up with some rather nice tweed
I took the sheep at the end, without too much greed.
The moral of the story though is the wise will succeed
for the next time around the boy brought a stampede.

Tuesday, March 2, 2010

Spurned by Porn

Porn glorious porn
Enticing in its lackluster
What boy can deny
Watching as they shoot their cluster

It’s natural we know
Even some girls do enjoy it
But behind closed doors
Only if you can afford it

10 minutes or less
You bought it, you watched it, you owe
A big three hundred
So I hope you enjoyed the show

Money does not grow
Unlike your little ding-a-ling
So now you must pay
With things that won’t make it go schwing

A basement to clean
A garage and a shed house too
You’re at my command
And no more spanking to porn for you

You’ll now work it off
Unless you get yourself a job
You’ll do what I say
And I don’t want to hear you sob

So in the future
When you think that you feel the need
Go behind closed doors
With some lotion to spill your seed

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