Thursday, October 23, 2008

Burn After Reading

Week 34 Topic: Selfish indulgence...
bonus points
(hard, 2 points): Use the stage of a theater, one way or another.
(easy, 1 point): Use two metaphors.

Final day to post: Oct. 27th, midnight GMT.

I was going through my old hotmail account to clean it out. I figured that I no longer use it so I should go through to see if there was anything I wanted to keep so I could get it transferred and then delete the rest. Well, I came across a few emails that I thought may be a little interesting to blog about, or to go off on a tangent about, however you want to look at it.

The first one posed the question "Do you ever think it would be cool to have some sort of magical or super power?" I think just about everyone has been asked that but I just can't ever think what I'd want mine to be. Deep down inside though I think I harbor a teeny, tiny pyromaniac so maybe I'd enjoy having the gift of fire. I wouldn't become the Firestarter or anything; I just like to watch the flames in a nice controlled environment. A flaming fireplace or campfire is perfect combustion chamber but I do like to burn the occasional straw to watch it melt also, it's just a teeny tiny pyro I tell ya. It would be sort of cool though to be able to toss out fireballs from my hands like they were flamethrowers or something. They'd have to be special fireballs that wouldn't really burn much though cause I'd feel bad for starting any major fires. Maybe the art of spontaneous combustion would be better, that's nice and contained right??

The next email that caught my attention was regarding a stage production of The Moonshine Hotbox, at the Orpheum Theater. My main indulgence in life is movies and music! I could be dirt poor and still find some way to squeeze out enough money to catch a flick or buy a new DVD or CD… or download new tunes off iTunes. I could open my own video store but I don't really want to share them cause they may get all scratched up or never be returned and I just don't want to risk that so I keep them to myself. You can call me selfish but unless I know you very well, chances are you will not get to borrow them…. you can pay me a visit and watch them with me though. Oh, that reminds me, I love TV also and will spend every waking hour watching it if I can but I still can't catch everything and there is a show called Burn Notice that is on the list of what I missed so I'll need to add that to my Netflix list so I can catch it when it hits DVD. Ok, sorry about that… back to the on topic rant. Yeah, love me some movies and music but I do enjoy the occasional live production also so I used to get all the notices of the upcoming shows. I didn't go see this one but it took place in the 20s or 30s and was about a sting that was taking place to bring down some people making moonshine during the alcohol prohibition days. The hotbox, which is a slang term for an informant, was a scorned member of the biggest family of moonshine makers. His family invented the firebox, which is a construction used to conceal flames while the moonshine is being made. It became very popular and widely used among the trade so they were pretty wealthy from that… not to mention they had the best moonshine in them thar parts.

The last one that was worthy of mention started with "Are you drowing in money?" Wouldn't it be pretty awesome if I were?? I can just see it now... (dream sequence).

Big pool filled with money,
me a swimmer with no swimming skills
and no life jacket
but more than happy to jump right in
and drown in the piles of dirty, paper, bliss.
Sounds so tempting when put that way right???
NOT! **pinch** Ouch! Sorry, back to the blogging!!

Sadly the answer to the question is a big whopping no! When it comes time to pay bills I feel like I'm under fire, the bills are the bullets and the enemy (the collectors for those bills) has precision aim. They just keep using my checking account for target practice, taking it out chunks at a time until there is barely anything left. Just like the paper targets used at shooting ranges! It's more like I'm drowing in debt sometimes (no need for a random dream sequence for this one)! By the time I'm done writing checks or paying things on line, my poor wrist could use a nice hot pack for the ache.

I finally made it through all the emails and got rid of all of them, nothing worth keeping in there at all. It's all junk… spam mail is what it's called right? Why is it called that? Cause it's the left over mail that no one really likes to read, much like SPAM canned meat is made up of the leftover parts of a pig that most people wouldn't really eat? Just joshing, it's made from the shoulder of pork and ham (hence the name SPAM) and some crazy places eat it like it was filet mignon…like Hawaii, crazy I tell ya. So I'm back to why is it called spam mail? Someday I'll be curious enough to try to find out the answer but for now I like the relation to SPAM as my answer so I'm sticking to it! This weeks bonus word picture however has stumped me and it took me a long time to come up with some guesses for it but I thought that I needed to mention that there is actually a courier company called Blazeflash. Not that it's the word persay but it so goes with the picture… in my mind anyways. The dude in the picture is holding a package which could have been delivered by courier and it's got a blaze of fire that just may have been caused by flash of something. Ok, I'm grabbing at straws with that one (ooooo, and starting them on fire.) Anyways, Blazeflash isn't just another courier company according to their site so if you should ever need a courier you can check them out at I wonder if they'd send a little love my way, money style, for pimping their site???

Ok, before I go I have to indulge the movie lover in me and share the below trailer for Burn After Reading. Not only does it sort of fit the bonus word picture but it's also what you should do to this blog if it were on paper cause:

a) Watching paper burn is a little fun too.
b) It's sort of a burn worthy blog if I do say so myself
c) When done right, it's another safe way to allow the teeny, tiny pyro out to play


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