Monday, August 4, 2008

The Take Down of the Insect Assylum

There is a great artist whose work inspired me to jot a little short story. If you like strange and unusual artwork, with the hint of old (& some new) child like cartoon references, then please visit his space and check out the work in picture albums. His name is Greg "Craola" Simkins and there is a link provided right under the picture used for the story. I hope you enjoy.

Hoss N. Pfeffer had been spending time with his grandson Kott N. Pfeffer for the summer. In a few days Hoss would be retiring to Pleasant Acres, a very exclusive spot for the agents of the elusive Wilderness Safari Agency. Hoss had been a cunning detective in his hay day and Kott loved to hear all the adventure filled stories from his grand-pop's past.

Hoss and Kott were finishing up the last of the packing when Kott came across a picture that he thought was rather strange. His grand-pops was preparing to eat lady bug wellington and looked rather disturbed. Kott asked is grand-pop about the picture and he just got a weird smile across his face and told Kott to settle in for a final tale. Kott went and made some popcorn and a vege smoothie and then settled down for the story to begin.

artwork by Greg "Crayola" Simkins

Hoss started out by introducing Ellie Faunt, his first partner. Ellie and Hoss had been partners for about 3 months when they were assigned to the case that would be later called the Insect Asylum. Their mission was to infiltrate and be accepted amongst the community of overgrown arthropods. At the head of the community was the deranged Milie Peed and she was their ticket in. Millie actually became the boss when her father, Centie, was murdered and most think that his death was what drove her to the brink of insanity. Because she was rather insane, she accepted all kinds into her circle and her arthropods never questioned her for fear of losing their lives.

Ellie went undercover first but it wasn't long before she was discovered while searching through some files. Millie devised a plan to make everyone think Ellie was still alive by having her skinned and making one of her minions wear the hide. During one of the check-ins between Ellie and Hoss, he caught on to the fact that something wasn't right so he decided to move in to check things out. He'd go in prepared for the worst, as he feared that would be what he'd find.

When Hoss stepped into the Knight's Crawler Cafe he was immediately approached by Millie Peed, she often worked as the hostess for the place. He was seated and Millie informed him that his waitress would be sent right over. Suddenly he saw what appeared to be Ellie approaching, decked out in the official Knight's uniform. When she reached his table she introduced herself but didn't sound quite like her normal self. Hoss wondered how they thought they could get away with the fake Ellie since it was so obvious that it was one of Millie's overgrown arthropods pretending to be Ellie.

Hoss placed his order for the lady bug wellington, the Café was well known for the dish so most ordered it and he didn't want to stand out. What Hoss didn't know is that Millie was expecting him so the table was bugged and his mumbled whispers for backup were heard. Hoss now knew that Ellie was really gone so he was going to take the place down. Millie had her minions thwart the backup at the doors by spraying them with their toxic fumes paralyzing them and leaving Hoss to take care of things alone. What Millie didn't know was Hoss had extra sensory hearing and was aware of what was happening outside and he also had a surprise weapon of his own.

Hoss pulled out his wallet, appearing as if he was getting ready to pay but instead he emptied it onto the table and released about 20 bombardier beetles. The beetles immediately scampered around the Café letting loose their dangerously toxic gas-like fumes. Most of the arthropods were taken down; all that was left was Millie and the one pretending to be Ellie. In the blink of an eye the fake Ellie toppled over, falling on Millie and crushing her. The back up, finally revived from their toxic attack, and came in to gather up the rest of the arthropods so they could be taken to the Row Chess Prison.

As Hoss sipped on his carrot juice he informed Kott that the moral of this story, since he always tried to convey one, was to never think that you are smarter than those you are trying to outsmart because as soon as you do, you yourself will be outsmarted. Kott thanked his grand-pop for the final story and asked to keep the picture, to which Hoss fully agreed. They finished packing up and then locked up the house and set off to get Kott back home so Hoss could settle in at the Acres and be reunited with his old friends from the Agency.

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